Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in my kitchen, and I'm joined by Tom Wrigglesworth.

This is Rhod Gilbert with Captain Features ... Tom Wrigglesworth, uh, is here. Some emails and things coming in. ... Hey, talking / I've been calling you Captain Features　/ very generously, Tom, 'cause / yet, as yet / second / it's only 14 minutes passed / I say that / normally / feature by now / confidence because / this / new watch / I wager ... I will wager that you would have a feature about that watch / well / funny I should say that, eh? / kind of / what happened was / nice watch / my wife / wrist watch / Oh god. / So, she took it back / that sounds like a story in itself. / Well, it was. And, uh, it was madness because, uh, the shop was going to charge hundred pounds to fix it, but if you bought a new watch ... / 修理に 100 ポンドかかるという。 / No. / Yeah. / 100 pounds to fix what? / uh, cracked screen / how much was the watch in the first place, Tom? That's what the listeners are thinking now / I don't know. It was a present. ... It was a present / pair / feel like morally __ obligated / プレゼントだから修理しなければと思ったわけだな。 / this is the madness. For 120 pounds, you could buy a new watch, and they would repair the other one / would be free. ... So, now what would you do? / 修理には 100 ポンドかかる。しかし 120 ポンドで新しい時計を買えば、古い時計はタダで修理してくれるというんだ。 / wow, wow wow wow, wait / your wife's got a present / whoo, lovely / oh heck / goes back to shop / hundred quid / fix that for you / Yeah. / Mind you / have this new watch / fix / for nothing. / Yeah. ... So, obviously, that is ... that is ... / present / moral maze / one-way street / It is / no-brainer / It's not a no-brainer. This is what I call a brainer. 考えるまでもなくないよ。考えるまでもあるよ。/ Well, they / moral maze / the bottom line is / now cost 120 pounds for a new watch / Yeah. But that's ... that's ... yeah, / if / simple as that / would / moral one-way street / simple as that / moral cul-de-sac / that / house __ __ __ big lights / one of those travel __ thing / yeah / travel / all the way to the light house / we got the new one / no, it's not, though, is it? 'cause then ... 'cause then you go / person / repair / new watch / it's not a gift / it's not a gift they gave me any more / no / if we bought a new watch separately for 120 pounds / repair of the old watch is free / tempted / wear the other / two watches. I don't like having two watches. / we / she / we bought me the watch / yeah / go "Hey, Tom, that's a nice watch. Where did you get? / well, I've got it / one / bought / yours was fixed for free / and / her watch was devalued because it's free now. / I'd not actually considered that / Tom / I think you should ... I think you shoud have fixed the watch, poo-pooed the new watch. / それは新しい時計は断って古い時計を修理すべきだったな。人として。 / No. I was taking ... / a lot of listeners will be thinking / switches off / I was taking a very shrewed fiscal decision. It now cost 20 pounds / buy the new watch / we bought this watch, right? / this was a few weeks ago. And, um ... uh ... there was ... I mean ... you know, in / watch shop / obviously / hundreds watches, right? And / if __ __ a good watch shop / It was a good watch shop. And she __ __ __ on my wrist very delicately / Blimey, that is a service / It was really nice of her. And I / I remarked / Oh, is it the right time? / and she went, " / look around / all the watches / showing the right time / clocks / week before / "Flipping heck. Do you have to come in and change all the watches? / she said, "Yeah / she has to get to work two hours early to set all the watches an hour back. / Oh, heck. / shop later? / paid / I mean, paid / just / because the clocks had gone back / just / of the door / back / in five minutes / (not really) / It's too much of a time continuum / well, it is / do / do / because / constantly / you know, that sort of ... sometimes, if you are happy at work and the time flies by / you know what I mean. "Oh, it's five o'clock already." / that will never happen / ten past three / whole time / drag / hundred / whole time / all of it, pegging / right / every second of it / yeah / tick, tuck, tick, tuck, ... / So, she had to come in / I / feature 1, then. Let's hear from / watch makers / what's it like working in a watch shop / Hell ? / I expect it is, especially / feature #1 / two times a year / change them / especially / feature / calling __ all watch makers / you know, any ... any, sort of, massively negative side to your job you didn't see coming / so, when she / apply for that job, and she got the job, she wasn't to know that twice a year she's gonna have to come in / taking / thumbnail off because she / pull out a little pin at the side / suddenly / good job you are happy with, is absolutely, actually, a nightmare. / So, we've got two good features there / feature 2 / arguably probably for more of you / massively negative side-effect to the job that you just didn't see coming. ... That is Feature 2. Feature 1 is, Calling on all watch makers. What's it like? Hell?

夢中になれるような仕事なら、時間が経つのが早いというだろう？　ところが、時計屋に勤めたが最後、それは起こりえないんだ。5 分くらいたったかなと思ったら一時間だったなんてことはありえないんだ。

This is Rhod Gilbert, live on, uh, BBC Radio Wales / Tom Wrigglesworth / right / wrong / beans / pointlessly / coffee grinder / hold on to the beans / for four years / that doesn't have to be a feature / all / check / out / honestly / before / as / year to buy a grinder / looking for a Christmas present for me ... / 私へのクリスマスプレゼントを何にしようか悩んでいる方は、参考にしてください。 / haven't / something / any / bought / rock / chips and stuff / with / hunks of / sprinckled / big / crystalized rock salt / I continue to do that / chips / bit / sometimes / salt is bigger than the chip / salt / massive / ポテトフライより塩の粒のほうが大きかったりするんだ。 / I haven't got one of those / what do you call them? / that's the word / salt / either / coffee / グラインダーがなかったら、すりこ木とすり鉢で摺ってもいいんだよ。コーヒー好きは皆知ってる。 / I have got / up / guess / used / time / 1 / never / I haven't pestled anything / 何一つすっていない / motor / which / which / which / which / better / they / stand / true / might / which / which / which / which / do / find / might / left / always / sit / should / top / sitting / mortar / hat / help / if / just / back / help / is a stick / yeah / feature / which / like "pencil" / it does sound / pencil / we'll go with that. Scrap Feature 3. We __ go with it / sounds like / I'd love to know / back on. ... Which one's pestle? Which one's mortar? ... Don't forget / two exciting features. One, what / watch maker / And two, "The massively negative side to a job you didn't see coming, e.g. ... working in a watch shop and then never being allowed to be late / knowing what time it is constantly 今何時何分かを否応なく知らされる。/ popping out for five minutes / that is / literally / wouldn't you? ... You know, sometimes / today / that's never gonna happen / you / in a watch shop / realization / every tick, / every tock / which / tick / which / tock / like pestle and mortar

texts and emails flooding in today / exciting features / Feature #1: What / watch maker / Is it Hell? / 2 / have you done a job / massively / you just didn't see coming. ... 3: Which one is pestle? And which one is mortar? ... although / team / Radio Wales / confidently asserted __ the theory / confidently / in fact / the pestle / They just knew, didn't they? / the chap standing up ... and, uh ... mortar is his horse / as / useful / だから何だ / Uh, yeah. That's a better way of saying it / yeah / crush / the __y, crushy fella / yeah. That's the one. / grimac__ grinding face / when you clench a fist / pestles are more / motar's more ... / that, indeed. ... Now, on the subject of watches / "Morning, Rhod / come flooding in / already ... it's only 11:42 / text / email / checking on my, uh ... / your time piece / my new watch / so / already one come in, Tom. ... This / flooded in / "Morning, Rhod. Do you know that all watches in magazines and on TV show the time ..." Huh ... / I think I did know this / ten past ten or ten to two / it makes the face / smiley face / that's true. Uh ... Tom Wrigglesworth is desperately ... / advert / in one of those newspapers / let's find it / trying to find / trying to find / give me a minute. / I don't __ got a minute / have to be quicker than that / well / Andrew / a.k.a. __ in __ / he's a regular listener. Uh ... he says here, " / new glass: 3 pounds. Time to fix: 10 minutes. Total cost: 10 pounds. Profit: 90 pounds. Effort for shop: / 10 minutes of time. New watch: 120 pounds / Profit: 60 pounds. Effort for / putting / on wrist / no wonder they / afford / correct time." says E__. / I know I think / brutal breakdown of how much __ __ should cost there / I was appalled when ... when __ wife came back / a few quid / you just need one of those little screw drivers / Christmas crackers / I'd do it myself / but then / suddenly seduced / to buy a new watch / and the other one fixed. So, / to be honest / I'm furious now / realized / I've done / both going back / That's what __ reckons / fix it / total cost: 10 pounds / I mean / he doesn't know what he's talking about, though, Tom. / he doesn't how much new glass is. / he doesn't know how much / time / charged / how does he know that the time to fix is 10 minutes / total cost, 10 pounds? How does he / one / minute / "Re: Coffee" / Oh yeah. / "Beans in plastic bag ..." Huh. This, uh, refers to, uh, me saying we were looking for / coffee / fridge just now / hey / take / all right? I don't mind admitting it. / Huh. / Yeah. I'm big enough to admit / 認めちゃうよ。オレは人間が大きいから。 / I've got one. Um ... but, I went to buy / coffee / the other day / unground bean / Huh / Instead of throw ... / I can't throw it out / spent three quid or something like that / I haven't got a grinder. So, I, uh ... I ended up / beans in the fridge / anything / Or so I thought. Here's a tip. Here's a tip from English __ in __ / that's what he calls himself. Uh ... / English / I see. Sorry. the way / English / I think / "Re: Coffee", he says, "Beans in plastic bag ... " I don't know why people're talking in very stilted way these days / bothered to write down / generation / missing out / they are missing out / give these / But everyone / time to fix: 10 minutes / Total cost: 10 pounds. Profit: 90 pounds, Effort / shop / bluh bluh bluh blue / don't / people-friendly, is it? / No. / listen to this one / factual / 素っ気ないというか / don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm very grateful / English / Right? / I'm ... I'm very grateful / English / what to do with / plastic / so automated. It's like something / オレが挽かずに放置しているコーヒー豆をどうするかについて余計なお世話を言うイングリッシュ・ボビングのことは、有難いんだよ。有難いんだが ... / Kraftwerk, innit? ... like Kraftwerk __ __ a song about beans / which I would like to hear, incidentally. 書き方が冷たい。あまりにも機械的だ。まるで、クラフトワークがコーヒー豆の歌を歌っているみたいじゃないか。... ほんとにあったらぜひ聴きたいけど。Uh ... / beans in plastic bag. / stop / got a full stop / maybe / not / telegram generation / sent in Morse / all come back round / generation / now the twitter generation 歴史は繰り返す、だ。電報の世代に起こったことが、今はツイッター世代に起こっている。 / in-between / sentences / fax generation / write things out 我々はその中間、ファックス世代に属するから、きちんと文を書くんだ。/ Beans in plastic bag. / wrap in teatowel. / hammer to powder. Coffee. / like a survival tip / 生き残るための心得：その１、その２... / tea / for some reason / breaks in to / towards the end of the email, and / and he thinks "I'll give grammer a go 急にまともな文を書き出したぞ。人間の言葉を思い出したらしい。/ about to make tea using / steam / kettle / broken." / No way. / that's what he says / English / I don't know / talking of tea / and kettles, and / circled / morning / back of the Daily Express / says / boil again / and it's one of these things / under / just / sort of like / press a button / instant hot water / I don't like those things / sort of things / offices / something / garage ガソリンスタンド / yeah / something / kettle / makes / tea / that's the reward / part of the process, isn't it? You go / nice / wait / just / instant / it's too easy / think / too easy a commodity / becomes valueless / becomes worthless / constantly / hundred people / in any language / any / any country / communicate / you could / people would agree / second cup of tea / never / as the first / back to back, the second one / always slightly disappoiting, Yeah? / that / disagree with that / two from your / so quickly / either the

You may be sitting at home, thinking something's changed / happened / there is / Little Barry Castagnola / sometimes co-host of, uh, this show / joined / microphone / in the shed. He's down / the shed / I don't know why I'm whispering. ... I don't know / stop / he / down the shed / because / why / why / doing / in there / living / to be honest / make a cup of tea / here I am / live on air / come in and make a cup of tea / record was playing / professional / too short / cup of tea / boiling the kettle off / boiling / one of those things / boiling water on tap / anti / earlier on, in this show / should have one of those / in the back / newspaper / never have to wait / kettle-looking device / press the button / all the time / keep / want that / that devalues a cup of tea / I think that devalue / cup of tea / something in / the waiting time / the theatre of it / the theatre of making / that is part of the theatre of tea / but when you make tea / more / bloopers / boils the kettle / teabags in there / tea / promised half / half an hour / attacking me, attacking me for looking after / making them tea / half / yeah / I ... quite often, I would say / my record / five / making a cup of tea / half an hour later / look at that / tea / kettle on again / same again / five hours / roughly before / normally / devices / that's an opera / it is an opera / it is like American football / sometimes, when I make a cup of tea / watch / in the breaks / all the wrong way around / tell you what / I said earlier as well / agree with me / any language / anyone / second cup of tea if you have two ... you know / never / second one / always disappointing / there / take or leave it / I disagree / right / yeah / that's / 90 / I guarantee you / with me / let's ask / BBC Radio Wales / now / he / disagrees / I am trouble / I am trouble / as / bold move / get out of my house / 97 / let's ask Maddy. Maddy, do you / disappointing? / Yeah. / Oh ho. Back in the game / listeners / be good / agree / never / second / always disappointing. So far, it's me and Maddy / plays Tom, Barry and Mark / if / hundred / podcast / and then / collate / during the week / people / yeah / honestly / a pie chart at the end of this / people can then, uh, / just / choose / feature comes in / what are you doing / shed / listners / I know だからリスナーのために話せっての。オレは知ってる。オレは知ってるよ。/ shed / no idea / I know / here / we have been, uh, editing together a documentary / last year / never intended to do / documentary / never intended it / never / no / camera / charity / charity / Barry / with others / in a group / on his phone / bit / footage / all / way / back / this is all right, this / we can make a documentary out of this / BBC Wales / December / 11 / Barry is doing in my shed / doing / else / don't say about him / don't mention him. __ sounds weird.

tell / ding / ladies and gentlemen / what / tea / suggested / always a disappointment / well, I thought / Barry disagreed / luckily, Maddy / fight / back on / out to you, the listeners / tell / it's kicked off / here's one / tea- agree / that's from / I'm having it / jot it down / it's now / three / "I'm with Rhod. The first cup of tea / satisfying / nobody / heart-breaking / cup empty / yeah / with the second / doesn't matter any more / every time / Exactly. / I think that / second cup doesn't matter any more / absolutely true. The second cup of tea does not matter. That is what I'm saying / lots of people / back / me up here / moment / morning, Rhod, et.al. / cup / Five. / he might / this / it might be / hundred / ever / whatever you do / get one of those / producer / work / not quite boiling / I didn't even mention that / more / theatre of / kettle / rubbish / decent brew / 5 - 3 at the moment / you know / mountain / you can't boil water hot enough to make tea? / Of course / 高山では沸点が低くなるから、お湯を沸かしても、紅茶を入れるのに十分なくらい熱くならない。 / yeah / doesn't / that's not / mountain / actually / did / high enough / lower / we didn't / 'cause when / ask a porter that / making a tea / have you considered / atmosphere pressure / boils too soon / steep. / Is that right? / altitude / lower temperature / big problem for mountain climbing tea-lovers 紅茶好きの登山家にとっては大問題なんだ。/ nothing / move / on / so / about / mountain / do / got / monk / eyebrwos raised / can I / thing / there must be / environmental / but / very / or something. I don't know / thought / "I'm with you, Rhod / second / theatre / now / that's 2 to 1 / lads / "Hi / and / I agree with Rhod. The second / waiting / ritual / theatre / 7 - 3. That's me / response / agree / tea / find / lagar / interesting if you / turn / but / "Agree" says David / 9 - 3 / Mr. / the second cup / not so good / ten / three / I said, at the start of this, / we might get / three / which / pretty damn spooky / somewhat / hundred people / my / second cup, usually left / cold / no matter / 11 - 3 / agree / on the tea thing / Eighth / survey, but / 12 - 3 / now / recounted that one / no / did / think / must have been celebrating / hi-fiving yourself / things / wow wow wow wow / ok / back to 11 - 3 / mind you / with / 12 - 3 / welsh / Rhod / I've read that one / Mr. C / Mr. W / Gilbert / the second cup is not so good / I also / second / I have solved the problem / use a larger mug / don't wanna hear this / gonna say / two / also / too much tea / biscuit tin size. ... 14-3 / plenty of time / come back / as if / look at this / I'm with you / always / saying / you never forget your first / water debate / raging in my kitchen / moment / Hello, Rhod, Tom and Barry / hello / went / other / tea / leaving / floating helplessly / out / use those / tea bag / refuse / point blank / very / really / very different reason / modern annoy__ce, Rhod / tea / places / in pubs or restaurants / I certainly do / strings on / shamelessly / change / wrap the string / around the flippin' handle / ティーバッグを入れたまま出してくるのはいいよ。でもね、ティーバッグの糸の部分をマグの把手に巻きつけた状態で出してくるのはやめてほしい。/ now / got / hot / fish out / back / I mean / health hazzard / debate / everything / say / few / mate / whipping / whipping / backside / nice / nicest possible way / gonna / running / various / keep it going on the show / until / 'cause I'm confident / 98 / you / disagree with me / keep it running / until / see in your eyes その目は本気だな / going to do this / person / absolutely sums up / not / just / pragmatic. Just straight / cup / second / exactly / right? / "I'm wth Rhod / the tea debate / china / irrelevant / cup / not at home, but, / if / out and about / debate / with / tea / but / expect / serve / the first / even / cup / so, that is now 16 - 3. ... Some people / carry / Mike in / town / disgust / please end it now.

If you enjoyed / why / whole show / Rhod / saturday / 11 till 1.